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Self-esteem: woah, what a vast topic. The first mention of my self esteem was when my Religion teacher told me that when I believe in God I will also believe in myself. Apparently she was playing the proselytism card. During the years some more women told me that I lacked self-esteem because, hey what's a girl to do? Nobody asked them, nobody cared, they just had to put that out there. What did they mean by that? "Hey, I think you're a lut and I feel ashamed when being in your presence. You should try to start screaming uncontrollably when someone wrongs you or take revenge or just shove a boot up their sses. Some sort of emotional reaction, please. Why do you take so much hit from both men and women?"

So I took some psychological tests. Some said I had high self-esteem, others average self-esteem, others low self-esteem. It seems low self-esteem comes with a mentality of scarcity, it leads to psychological diseases such as anxiety and depression and it was most likely caused by the environment we grew up in. So if you had critical, bossy parents tough luck. However, what's interesting is that in some cases research states that narcissists have low self-esteem. So maybe your parents were also fragile on the inside. 

It doesn't take a lot to notice that the culture in which Romanians grow promotes low self-esteem. It is driven into us from the times we are children way into adulthood. Should you happen to stand up for yourself and ask for your rights you get into trouble: people are going to see you as arrogant and in some cases aggressive. So you'd better do what the heard does or the heard is going to eat you up. We like to keep the peace us Romanians. In a very passive-aggressive way.

The best way to improve your self-esteem is to doubt your automated thoughts ("I am stupid, I am not enough, I am unworthy of being happy")-find evidence against those thoughts and try stuff. In some instances what you do will bring you little successes. Build yourself up from your successes. One exercise would be to make a timeline and take down every success you can remember. Also when looking back try to think of the times you came up on top. Continue to do things that scare you and replace fear of the unknown with curiosity. Talk to yourself in a supportive voice. Use big words ("I have phenomenal coping skills"). When people try to put you down just tell them "Do you know critical people are most critical with themselves?". Reprogram your subconscious mind, use affirmations when looking at yourself in the mirror: "I am strong, I am smart, I am rich.". Take or read books on the topic of assertiveness and also take some psychological tests to identify your level of self-esteem (Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale). That's about it. So simple, right?