18

Friends: how to have them? No clue. I've reached an age when I realised I've never had any real friends just enemies preoccupied with finding my weaknesses. Although I need human contact no one is willing to show up for me. I've been famous, not so famous, then famous again. People have gathered around me for as long as I have been willing to put on my mask and continue with the show. When disease struck (if I have a disease) everyone around me just moved on with their lives. It is interesting to know that in Romania people only want to be friends with people who fit the norm, people who have prestige and are successful. All other relationships are fake. Hell, I want to be friends with people who have prestige. Although I also need emotional support I get that from books. Identifying reading as a coping mechanism was a life-changer for me. Next stop: cooking. Hopefully I'll learn something new and change my gloomy attitude towards life. Let's face it: with age one becomes more picky having learned their life lessons. No one is good enough for them anymore. All people have some way of getting on your nerves. It would be grand if we could live our lives without human contact but this sort of life affects one's health and prospects for success. In the end you don't know which way to go: expose yourself and risk being undermined and copied, hold secrets and risk dealing with paranoid people. Uffa.